Blockade.

I absolutely despise that uneasy feeling I feel. You know, nothing's going right, everything's just crazy and hectic.

I just want the world to stop for a second, let me take a breather. Let me get my mind straight. Stop having time fly by so fast.

Gah, filling out applications is tedious work. Annoying and tedious. I'm not sure if I'm really making the right choice by leaving for senior year. I really want to leave. So badly. But it's my last year, why leave? Why throw the last 3 years of hard work away? I've written a list: reasons to leave & reasons not to. Currently, the reasons to leave is winning, but why do I feel like I'm making the wrong choice?

It's not that I want someone to tell me to stay. I won't listen like I did before.

But the future's scaring me. What college am I going to? What am I even going to do in college? Why is there so much pressure? Why are SATs so suckish? Why am I trying to be an overachiever when that is obviously something I am totally not even fit to be?

I think if I knew what I wanted to do after High School and what uni I want to go to, it might put me at ease, because then I'll know whether or not leaving will truly be a mistake.

Blah.