The days where I lack complete motivation and any fucking drive to do anything, to even simply live, or get out of bed, are the worst days. Ever.
I know they're bad. And I know I should be a bit more.. motivated. But I'm not.
This is a phase I constantly jump back to. No matter how strong I am or try to be, it always comes straight back to first base. And it's not just an every now and then phase. It's an every week, almost, or every other day. It is just becoming so much more frequent. These constant series of downing is killing me ever so slowly. Ever so fucking slowly.
And I kind of don't want it to end at all, in a sense. Admittedly, I am weak. I know for a fact that I am so damn weak. But it's okay. We all have our weaknesses, our little issues, our problematic wall to jump over.
But when will I become psychologically strong enough to knock it down once and for all?
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